I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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