Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
