this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
