i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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