Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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