okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
