Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize