Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
