The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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