OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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