the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
its liver damage thursday
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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