Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize