He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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