talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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