My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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