And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
