i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
