I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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