Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
