i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
