So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
