I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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