dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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