Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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