you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well you can't waste a boner
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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