you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
