I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
