yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
