WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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