I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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