She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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