i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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