drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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