He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
