you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize