is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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