I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Buhtt sex?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
