You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
