how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
