Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
