im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
