how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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