Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
