there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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