After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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