got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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