yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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