i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
