Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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