I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
