i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
