I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
