I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think a kid would responsible me up
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
