I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
