i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
