i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
