tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
