You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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