We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This baby is an asshole
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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