the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
