I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
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Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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