Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
