Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
