where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
