oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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