My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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